I was 19 years old and at a very confusing point in my life. I had grown up in the church and could quote any number of verses that could be used to lead someone to the Lord by the time I was 10 years old. Yet, here I was, feeling like I was ready to get saved but also feeling like I couldn’t grasp how to actually accept Christ. Talk about frustration!
I had made a profession of faith when I was around 5 years old but began to doubt the sincerity of that decision by the time I was a teenager. I came to be pretty convinced that though I had prayed the “sinner’s prayer”, I lacked any conviction of sin or a real understanding of the gospel. I wrestled with my true spiritual condition off and on as a teenager but always figured I would deal seriously with that issue “tomorrow.” Yet tomorrow would come and go and nothing changed.
Then God began to graciously work in my life and through a series of events, reached a point of knowing I had to deal with this decision. I couldn’t put this off forever and became increasingly aware of the fact that God’s mercy on my life would not last forever. However, in my often over-thinking analytical mind, I became very confused about the simplicity of the gospel. Was I convicted of my sinfulness and willing to trust in Christ for my salvation. Yes! But why when I prayed and asked Christ to save me did I feel no assurance I had just gotten saved? Over the course of weeks I prayed repeatedly for salvation yet only became more and more confused and frustrated. Was my time done? Had I pushed salvation off too many times? So many thoughts crowded my mind, leading me to a point of confusion and despair.
And then one day I read Titus 1:2, “In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;” and this verse hit me like a ton of bricks. There was my problem! I was asking Christ to save me yet I was simply hoping He would, not actually having faith in His promises that He actually would save me. On that day in February 1996, God graciously gave me the faith to believe that if I put my faith in Him to save meHe would save me. Why? Because He promised He would and it is impossible for Him to lie! As the truth of this verse overwhelmed me, all of my confusion and despair lifted and the heavy burden was gone. Thank God for this promise and for allowing me to see its life-changing truth!